Earlier this month our Guest Thriver, Yasmine Young, wrote [...]
How are you seeking to find peace and even [...]
Earlier this month we talked about looking at limiting beliefs and understanding how the resulting thoughts and attitudes affect our actions and behaviors. I promised that you didn’t have to be bound by your limiting beliefs and that you can turn them around to be life-giving and lead to thriving. Now we will explore how!
Let’s take the next step with our activity. We started with this flow:
· A limiting belief and unhelpful mindset is formed. Mine was “I’m not worthy”.
· Thoughts and attitudes grow from that belief. Mine were “I must prove my worth and earn my value”.
· Finally, actions and behaviors result from the thoughts. My actions were to strive for grades, achievements and accolades to prove myself and gain love which led to a lifetime of striving.
Now let’s move to another flow. We want to see what the positive/helpful mindset or belief would be.
February is the month of love, or at least it holds the thought of Valentine’s Day. My hope for you is that you can show one of the most important people in your life that you love them: YOU! So many times, we have ourselves at the bottom of the list when we seek to support and nurture people. I encourage you this month to do some things that are self-nurturing.
To encourage this, we pick up from last month’s blog with our exploration of unhealthy mindsets. In some ways they can become walls of thinking we build up that limit us until we look at them and challenge them.
Expectations, although often helpful, can have a shadow side that can produce unnecessary stress and pain. At the point of creation, an expectation can serve to facilitate our self-growth. Yet, with time an expectation can become unreasonable, and therefore unattainable, causing profound disappointment and difficulty in one’s life. People with a history of trauma like sexual abuse, are especially vulnerable to these swings in perception. We can ruminate over unmet expectations, amplifying our limiting beliefs and lingering pains. Enduring trauma can cause a person to become obsessed with maintaining control in their life. When control eludes us, we can face a debilitating crash that negatively impacts our self-worth.
To better understand the root of our expectations and whether they still may benefit our growth, we must be able to listen to them. To listen to them we must cut through the clutter of noise that surrounds us both internally and externally. This means creating periods of silence and silent reflection into our self-care routines. Explore the following three exercises to better understand how silence is or could be helpful in your journey towards Thriver mindset.