Creating Healthy Mindsets and Pathways

Published On: February 15th, 2021

Earlier this month we talked about looking at limiting beliefs and understanding how the resulting thoughts and attitudes affect our actions and behaviors.  I promised that you didn’t have to be bound by your limiting beliefs and that you can turn them around to be life-giving and lead to thriving.  Now we will explore how!

Let’s take the next step with our activity.  We started with this flow:

·         A limiting belief and unhelpful mindset is formed.  Mine was “I’m not worthy”.

·         Thoughts and attitudes grow from that belief.  Mine were “I must prove my worth and earn my value”.

·         Finally, actions and behaviors result from the thoughts.  My actions were to strive for grades, achievements and accolades to prove myself and gain love which led to a lifetime of striving.

Now let’s move to another flow.  We want to see what the positive/helpful mindset or belief would be.

  1. “I am not worthy” can shift to the positive/helpful mindset of “I am worthy”.

  2. An “I am worthy” mindset would lead to the thought of “I have inherent value in who I am”. 

  3. Finally, if “I have inherent value in who I am” then my actions and behaviors will be authentic and I can be my true self and be loved and valued.

Here is a table that maps this shift out for you:

 STEP 1 Negative/Unhelpful Positive/Helpful

Core Belief I am not worthy. I am worthy.


Thought I must prove my worth. I have inherent value.


Action Striving to gain love. Being true, authentic self.

Now it is your turn to look at what can happen if you shift your negative core belief to a positive one and see how it plays out in how you see yourself.  On a piece of paper or in a journal, draw this table/matrix.

  Negative/Unhelpful Positive/Helpful

1 –  Core Belief


2 – Thought/Attitude


3- Action/Behavior


  • Pick out a core belief that you believe gets in the way of your best living and most-fruitful life.

  • Start with the negative column and write in the core belief, then the resulting thought/ attitude, and finally the action/behavior.

  • After you have done that, restate the core belief in a positive/helpful frame and put it in the next column under positive/helpful.

  • Reflect on what the following thought and attitude would be with the newly framed core belief. Capture that in the positive column.

  • Describe what the corresponding action and behavior could look like in the positive column. 

Pause and take in what you have written.  Perhaps even take a couple of deep cleansing breathes to allow this awareness to sink in.  If you are inspired, in your journal write the thoughts that come up for you and what you notice in your body as you reflect upon them.

You can do this exercise for as many “limiting beliefs” as you would like.  If you like these kinds of exercises, you will love the book, Awakening the Light: A Survivors to Thrivers Going-Forward Story, which is available through our book tab or by clicking here:

“Tambry opens her heart by sharing personal experiences to provide readers with insight to their patterns of self-protection, especially those patterns that keep us small and do not serve us to live a fulfilling life.  Her voice is with you through every part of this journey, and particularly tender when it is needed most. Tambry’s knowledge of research-based methods to heal are evident in her emphasis on the emotional, physical and spiritual interconnection of the consequences of surviving sexual and relational trauma. The bottom line is that Tambry has thoughtfully and lovingly provided a gift that is not only a source of individual healing, but also one of community connection and empowerment for the very group of people who need it most- survivors.”  Leia Charnin, Ph.D.

At Survivors to Thrivers, we are committed to encouraging and supporting you as you seek to embrace your healing and growth.  We would love to hear steps you have taken to heal yourself – mind, body, and spirit.  Please know we are here to cheer you on– every step of the way!

Talk To Tambry

I am glad you have taken the time to engage with this blog.  Sometimes it is helpful to process new insights that emerge.  If you would appreciate brief time with a someone who understands, our Talk to Tambry offering is for you.  For 30 minutes, you can receive support from Tambry who is a certified life coach, spiritual director and a survivor who has been on the journey as well.  This is offered at a reduced rate of $50.

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