Forgiveness – Part of Healing Our Wounds

Published On: October 1st, 2021

“We are all wounded in some way.  What we do with our woundedness defines us.  If we learn and grow from our wounds, they can motivate us to claim our Going-Forward Story.”

From Awakening the Light by Tambry Harris

All of us more than likely have been wounded by another person in our lifetime.  Sadly, for many of us, it is through childhood abuse, sexual abuse, and intimate partner violence (domestic abuse).

Culturally, many of us are raised to be tough and push down the feelings of hurt within us.  Somehow, we feel stronger by burying the pain.  Yet, in reality, we are binding the hurt and the pain deep within, never allowing the wound to breathe and heal, only to have it fester underneath or harden into a protective shell.

My story includes being wounded as a child in a family who were distracted by their own trauma; they could not or did not come to my aid when a predator groomed and sexually abused me.  For years to come, the hurt little girl inside me felt anger about the violation as well as betrayal by the adults around her.

Traci DeForge and Tambry Harris discuss how you can peel the layers of trauma to break through to the other side!
survivor of abuse, healing journey
Anger and resentment can feel like a protective shell; however, it traps the festering pain within.  My protective shell was thick and held me together, but it kept the pain inside and the joy outside.
Does this sound familiar?
Have you built up a thick shell to protect the wounded parts but are keeping out some of the most important things in life?
You were designed to have feelings, to feel joy, and to love fully.  So, how do you release the hurt and embrace the good?
  • First, you breathe deeply.
  • As you breathe, invite healing into your heart and soul.
  • For me, it is helpful to breathe in “Holy One” and breathe out “heal me.”  If you have a special name for God, use that word.
  • Sit with the breath coming in, filling your lungs, settling your body.
  • Try to visualize where the pain resides within you; breathe into that space.  Some feel the pain, wound, or anger in their shoulders, others in their chest, and others in their stomach.
  • As you inhale, breathe in God’s love and healing power.
  • As you exhale, seek to breathe out the anger and resentment.
  • Continue to do this and notice if it helps to relax your body and spirit.
  • Name the pain or wounds that need to be healed to overcome the restrictive shell you have built.  This may be the first time you have named that person or event that hurt you deeply.
  • If you feel tension or uneasiness, invite God to sit with you in the naming and claiming.  Know that you are not alone.
As you become clear around the pain and woundedness, allow that to formulate into a healing prayer or healing intention.  Offer this prayer to God, or your Higher Power, who can be your loving, healing partner.
Just as Maggie, last month’s guest thriver said, “It may be hard to release the anger and forgive, but holding on to it only burns us.”
Are you tired of carrying the weight of anger and having it singe your hands as you clasp it tightly?
Maybe today, you’ll take the first step of releasing… just a little.  You can go slowly and know that this will take time.  There are still parts of me releasing anger and hurt from childhood… and that is okay.  The important thing is that we are stepping along the path from striving to thriving!
At Survivors to Thrivers, we are here for you along the journey.  Please let us know how the breathing and releasing exercise was for you.  I read every comment.  Also know that if you would like someone to explore with, you can contact me at

Talk To Tambry

I am glad you have taken the time to engage with this blog.  Sometimes it is helpful to process new insights that emerge.  If you would appreciate brief time with a someone who understands, our Talk to Tambry offering is for you.  For 30 minutes, you can receive support from Tambry who is a certified life coach, spiritual director and a survivor who has been on the journey as well.  This is offered at a reduced rate of $50.

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