We Only Have One Shot at this Thing Called Life – Own Your Destiny

Published On: October 1st, 2023
Maggie Kanzki, is a fellow author and life coach who shares her thoughts and heart in this Thriver Blog.

At Survivors to Thrivers, we offer Thriver Posts to help you know you are not alone. There is a path to healing, and a community of survivors to support you.

October is Domestic Violence/Intimate Partner Awareness Month.  May Maggie’s story speak to you about your situation or for you to share with a loved one.


I believe, “The only time we make changes in our lives is when we are tired of our current circumstances.” 

  • Are you tired of yours? 
  • Let me tell you a little about my journey and the changes I have made in my life.

For me, I had to first recognize that I WAS a survivor because I had been in denial

  • What was particularly difficult was that many people, in addition to the abuser, played a part in the state of denial. Others suppressed the fact that the abuse was happening. 
  • As I began to realize what was happening, and how I was trapped in this unhealthy relationship, it was hard to accept this truth. 

What I have learned:

  • It is critical to recognize what got you into the situation so that you never fall back into it again
  • Understanding and being able to see the signs is so important!

Acceptance was another critical step for me. 

  • It meant saying, “This is what my life was and I don’t want to feel the shame anymore.”

Finally, I claimed that there was going to be a shift from that day on. Yesterday was how I was defined by my abuser but TODAY is who I know that I am

  • As I started treating myself the way I deserved to be treated, I showed others how to treat me.

My vision with Owning My Destiny is to help others find healthy relationships

  • After investing in myself and practicing the techniques I acquired, I found the amazing loving relationship I was looking for! 
  • The gift that was given to me, is the gift I want to share with others

My healing process helped me realize the importance of forgiving, releasing, and rebuilding. 

  • These steps may not be easy but they help to move you to that place of treating yourself the way you deserve to be treated. 
  • It is important to know you are worthy of love and no longer need to have people in your life who keep you in unhealthy patterns.
Let’s talk about the steps of forgiving, releasing, and rebuilding.

With FORGIVING, we need to seek to not hold a grudge around what that person did to us. 

  • You don’t forget what happened, but you do not hold them to the fire in your hands and say, “I’m going to burn you.”  This doesn’t work. 
  • Forgiveness is never for the other person, it has to do with your healing.

With RELEASING, you come to an understanding that you are in a good place now

  • Recognize that you are able to remember what happened and be able to move forward and incorporate the lessons learned as you claim a new way of being.

Finally, with REBUILDING, you put your “anchors” in place

  • Ask yourself, “Who are the people you want in your life?” 
  • You need loving support, you need trusted others to help you with the rebuilding process. 
  • That is why this community of Survivors to Thrivers is here. 
  • We may be at different places in our journey but we understand and can support one another.  
Remember, we have one shot at this thing called life. Let’s make the best out of everything and every moment as we own our destiny. ~ Coach Maggie

Maggie Kanzki is an International Best-selling Author of the book, Owning Your Destiny: Overcoming Toxic Relationships and Finding True Love.

  • As a public speaker and a survivor of domestic violence, Maggie brings awareness to the hopelessness that many people have experienced.
  • She talks openly about her personal struggles, shares the techniques she crafted as she conquered her own challenges, and knows how to captivate her audience.
  • As a social worker and a relationship coach expert, she is committed to helping others transform their lives.

You can learn more about Maggie and her services at:  www.owningmydestiny.com

Talk To Tambry

I am glad you have taken the time to engage with this blog.  Sometimes it is helpful to process new insights that emerge.  If you would appreciate brief time with a someone who understands, our Talk to Tambry offering is for you.  For 30 minutes, you can receive support from Tambry who is a certified life coach, spiritual director and a survivor who has been on the journey as well.  This is offered at a reduced rate of $50.

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