Healing the Wounds of Sexual Abuse
How do you begin to heal the wounds from sexual abuse?
Start by breaking the cultural stigma of shame by knowing:
- You are NOT what happened to you.
- You ARE WORTHY of a whole, healthy life.
- You DESERVE to know the joy of being alive.
Below are two exercises to step into healing.
Loving-Kindness Meditation
Focus your prayer or meditation practice on promoting radical love and kindness to yourself. Then share that love with the rest of the universe to promote self and collective healing from pain, shame, and sorrow.
Repeat this practice for a week and see how your wellbeing improves.
Begin by sitting in a comfortable position and place one hand over your heart and the other over your stomach.
Call up an image of yourself around the time of your trauma and a second image of how you look currently, and state out loud the following:
May I be full of loving-kindness
May I be happy
May I be protected from inner and outer harm
May my pain and sorrow be eased
May I accept myself, just as I am
May I know the joy of being alive
Next, picture a person who has been instrumental to you during your journey towards healing and wholeness.
Pay special attention to the ways they have helped you tackle your feelings of shame and guilt.
Repeat the following mantra:
May you be full of loving-kindness
May you be happy
May you be protected from inner and outer harm
May your pain and sorrow be eased
May you accept yourself, just as you are
May you know the joy of being alive
End by repeating the following mantra to help benefit the collective universal community:
This should help provide you a balm from any difficulties you experienced during this exercise.
May all beings be full of loving-kindness
May all beings be happy
May all beings be protected from inner and outer harm
May all beings’ pain and sorrow be eased
May all beings accept themselves, just as they are
May all beings know the joy of being alive
Steps for Survivors to THRIVE
THINK about what your body is telling you; is there pain you need to address?
Many survivors live in their heads to avoid feeling the pain in their bodies and spirits. It is critical to know that just because you don’t acknowledge it doesn’t mean that it isn’t there.
Listen to your body and honor your whole self. (click for article explaining somatic healing)
HEAL trauma and woundedness through therapy (click for blog article about finding therapists)
To move from being a victim to a survivor, it is important to look back into the past trauma. Reconcile what happened to you and release yourself from the pain of that experience.
RECOGNIZE limiting beliefs that impact choices
After we have taken the healing steps of looking back at the trauma, we can still be stuck with limiting beliefs and unhealthy patterns. THIS is where Survivors to Thrivers comes in! We help you move through identifying your limiting beliefs and claiming your going-forward story of freedom and joy. (click for description of individual guidance)
INVOLVE others to support you
Having a support team all along the way is essential. They will encourage you when you doubt yourself and help you see the progress you are making along your healing journey.
VALUE growth because it will take time and energy
Although it would be nice to flip a switch to being whole and healthy, this is a process with layers of healing. Give yourself grace as you take each of the important steps.
ENGAGE you whole self—mind, body and spirit in healing
As you continue to grow and become stronger, seek to engage the whole of you. Breath is one way to consciously connect your mind’s awareness to your body as well as tap into your spirit.
How to STEP UP as a Supporter
SEE what is NOT being said
Many survivors struggle with a feeling of unworthiness or the shame inherent in sexual abuse. Notice if your friend or family member seems to be quieter, more distant, or perhaps more anxious and restless.
TELL the person you are there to help, listen and believe them
Worrying that you will not be believed is one of the greatest fears of survivors. Listen and assure them that it was not their fault and state you are here to support them.
ENCOURAGE the person to heal and to seek counseling
As you read in the survivors’ steps, the first thing is to seek counseling to address the trauma from the experience. Then the person can take the healing steps to move forward and address the resulting limiting beliefs to claim their going-forward story.
PROVIDE resources if needed; know what is available
There are many resources available; utilizing them is critical. Here are a link to some helpful resources.
UNDERSTAND that each step requires courage and strength from the survivor
As your survivor takes each healing step, new layers may present themselves. Moving into each layer takes effort and encouragement.
PREPARE for ups and downs during the healing process
A variety of emotions result as survivors do their healing work. Some days they may experience anger and sadness, while other days they may feel the joy of feeling like themselves again or celebrating a new opening of awareness.
You were brought to this blog for a reason.
We hope you find encouragement, inspiration and resources.
Please take advantage of our resources and share with anyone you feel would benefit.
We are a Thriver Tribe of encouragers who believe we all deserve a full, joy-filled life. If there are other resources you would be interested in or topics that you would like for us to explore, please comment below or contact us at: tambry@survivorstothrivers.com.
We hope you will engage with us in whatever way feels most helpful. There is a Thriver Tribe here to support you, root you on, and believe you can make life-changing steps to move to a thriving life.
Here’s to Thriving!
Tambry
Talk To Tambry
I am glad you have taken the time to engage with this blog. Sometimes it is helpful to process new insights that emerge. If you would appreciate brief time with a someone who understands, our Talk to Tambry offering is for you. For 30 minutes, you can receive support from Tambry who is a certified life coach, spiritual director and a survivor who has been on the journey as well. This is offered at a reduced rate of $50.
