Dismissed No More
In this Survivor to Thriver Blog, Navy veteran and MST (Military Sexual Trauma) survivor Jennifer Williams shares her story of strength and perseverance to be seen and heard.
We thank Jennifer for sharing her story to encourage all of us to advocate for ourselves.
DISMISSED INTO SILENCE
Jennifer was 18 when she enlisted in the Navy, inspired by her father’s military service and following in the footsteps of her brother. Growing up in rural Alexandria, Kentucky, she was also eager to spread her wings.
It was during a weekend off base with friends when she was violently sexually assaulted by a man who identified himself as a fellow service member. Jennifer said she was scared to death, but she immediately left the hotel with a friend and saw a nurse to get physically examined.
“I told her what happened. She said, ‘You seem like a smart, strong young woman, and I think you are going to be OK,’” Jennifer said, adding that she was covered in bruises from the assault. The nurse told her to go back to class.
With her physical and mental wounds unaddressed and dismissed by military health care professionals, Jennifer was left to question whether she was to blame. For the next 30 years, she kept what happened to herself.
‘SHE NEVER GAVE UP’
For those 30 years, Jennifer struggled with depression and other PTSD symptoms, including hypervigilance, and found herself in abusive relationships. At times, she was unable to work or function through daily life, debilitated by unaddressed trauma.
After the end of another toxic relationship, Jennifer was ready to break the cycle. She started to advocate for herself and realize her self-worth. She sought out a counselor through a Department of Veterans Affairs medical center. For the first time, she was asked if she had been sexually assaulted while enlisted.
Jennifer fought for years to receive the benefits she had earned from her service to our country and for the traumatic experience she endured at such a young age. Through this effort, she met Don Inns, a benefits advocate for DAV (Disabled American Veterans), a national non-profit that provides free, professional claims assistance to veterans. Inns ultimately helped Jennifer get the validation and benefits she earned.
ADVOCATING FOR HERSELF
Jennifer refused to accept anything less than what she deserved. When she met Inns, she found someone willing to fight just as hard. She suggested he put a note in her file. “I said, ‘You can put a little note on there that I will be 105 years old on my deathbed signing another appeal. I’m not giving up.’”
Jennifer was denied multiple times when she applied for disability benefits for post-traumatic stress disorder related to military sexual trauma, or MST. She still gets emotional when she remembers the day Inns told her that her claim was finally approved, “I wasn’t being dismissed anymore.”
Today, she continues counseling and credits it with helping her cope with her PTSD symptoms.
“I did it for myself, yes,” Jennifer said of seeking her earned benefits. “But I became very tenacious and determined because there were so many other women that I had met that the same thing happen to them. They said, ‘It’s just too much.’ I also fight for them.”
According to the VA, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 50 men report experiencing MST. Jennifer refers other veterans to DAV for claims assistance and regularly shares her story in hopes of encouraging other MST survivors to advocate for themselves. If you’re a veteran who needs help filing claims, DAV can help. Visit benefitsquestions.org to find your nearest benefits advocate.
At Survivors to Thrivers, we share powerful stories of survivors who have found their voice and are moving toward thriving in life.
Jennifer demonstrates a powerful tenacity to stand up for herself, seek the support she needed, and the benefits she deserved.
In next month’s blog, we will share thoughts on how to advocate for yourself.
Talk To Tambry
I am glad you have taken the time to engage with this blog. Sometimes it is helpful to process new insights that emerge. If you would appreciate brief time with a someone who understands, our Talk to Tambry offering is for you. For 30 minutes, you can receive support from Tambry who is a certified life coach, spiritual director and a survivor who has been on the journey as well. This is offered at a reduced rate of $50.
