Understanding the Impact of Sexual Abuse
Do you believe the world’s culture is desensitized to the impact of sexual abuse? I do.
Part of Survivors to Thrivers mission is to increase understanding around this topic.
Let me give you an example. My twenty-year-old step-son was describing a movie that showed three different perspectives of a rape scene:
- The perpetrator’s view – she/he wanted it.
- The victim’s view – she/he was violated.
- Finally, the victim’s partner’s view – he/she was betrayed by the sexual act.
My step-son’s anger over the example of rape culture and blaming/shaming the victim showed enlightenment. And yet, there was a lack of understanding that this was not just a moment in time.
The victim’s life was changed forever.
If she sought to heal (and many do not), it would be a difficult journey.
I have been on that journey for years.
It started with naming the abuse that happened to me as a child, and understanding the mental, emotional, and physical impacts.
- Mentally – there were cruel mind games played, leaving me with many limiting beliefs. I suppressed many of the memories because they were too painful.
- Emotionally – I didn’t know what it looked like to be authentically loved. This led me to marry 2 different abusers. (Once I finally did my healing work, I married someone who loves me purely and completely.)
- Physically – I disowned my body for the most part, choosing to live in my head. And yet The Body Keeps the Score*, and the pain ultimately had to be released.
After doing this healing work and wanting to turn my pain into purpose, I founded Going Forward: Survivors to Thrivers.
Years later, I found that my healing journey was not done.
My mother passed away, and it opened up another level of grieving because she did not, could not, be there for me as I tried to make sense of what happened to me.
- This layer of healing included getting angry at my mother. I had explained away her absence, her lack of engagement, and her lack of connection.
- I needed to claim the repressed feelings in order to release them.
- Now I have a newly found sense of freedom.
I am getting ready to turn 58 this month. Implicit in this number is the years of repressing, acknowledging, and doing my healing work.
Part of my purpose is to help you not feel alone. If you are a survivor of sexual abuse, we at Survivors to Thrivers are here for you (and understand).
This organization is made up of survivors who are on various healing journeys and who want to encourage all survivors to move toward thriving.
If you seek to be a survivor supporter, keep reading. There are many resources available to you to support your loved one (s).
Survivors to Thrivers takes real, holistic action by meeting people where they are on their healing journey.
Awareness-raising is our first effort. We seek to shine light on the topic for individuals who need to do healing work to become unstuck from limiting beliefs and unhealthy patterns. Click here to learn more about statistics from last year’s blog.
Daily encouragement, hope, and healing are offered through Instagram and Facebook.
Bi-monthly blogs speak truth into the hearts of survivors and give specific healing activities for the mind, body, and spirit.
Individual guidance helps those who are stuck in limiting beliefs find a way out of unhealthy patterns and a path to claim their Going-Forward Story.
Through the Awakening the Light: A Survivors to Thrivers Going-Forward Story book, survivors, supporters, therapists, physicians, and faith leaders are finding a helpful resource for survivors. This book guides readers to take the first step in moving into their new going-forward story from the safety, security, and privacy of their own home.
Supporters, your understanding and encouragement matters! Your survivor needs you!
You can support survivors by:
Encouraging individuals to get one-on-one guidance,
Sharing this website so they are aware of the various healing and growth options,
Buying the Awakening the Light book for yourself to increase your understanding of what it’s like to be a survivor. Knowing the steps that survivors can take allows you to be an active supporter and even share this resource.
If you are a survivor whose heart was touched by what you have read, whose spirit was lifted at the idea of a more joy-filled life, we are here for you, dear one.
We hope you will engage with us in whatever way feels most helpful. There is a Thriver Community here to support you, root you on, and believe you can make life-changing steps to move to a thriving life.
Here’s to Thriving!
Tambry
Tambry Harris is the Founder of Going Forward: Survivors to Thrivers and Author of Awakening the Light: A Survivors to Thrivers Going-Forward Story (2020 American Book Fest Best Book Finalist). Her MA in Psychology, certifications in Coaching, Spiritual Direction, Change Management, and Diversity, and her 20 years of experience provide a grounded foundation to serve beautiful survivor souls.
*The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma is a book by Bessel van der Kolk that describes van der Kolk’s research and experiences on how people are affected by traumatic stress, including its effects on the mind and body.
Talk To Tambry
I am glad you have taken the time to engage with this blog. Sometimes it is helpful to process new insights that emerge. If you would appreciate brief time with a someone who understands, our Talk to Tambry offering is for you. For 30 minutes, you can receive support from Tambry who is a certified life coach, spiritual director and a survivor who has been on the journey as well. This is offered at a reduced rate of $50.
