Claiming Your Whole, Beautiful Self
Our “inner parts,” those various internal sub-personalities, can define us positively and negatively.
The good news: we can better understand ourselves and nurture those parts we wish to claim.
We can loosen the compulsive hold some of our “parts” have on us to allow other aspects of our personality to emerge…even flourish.
The “parts” developed as we tried to navigate our situation
Survivors of trauma and abuse find ways of navigating their situation often adopting roles and habits that are reinforced by others.
- Unfortunately, these ways of being become deeply ingrained and we don’t even see them – whether they are working for us or not.
- One commonly adopted role is “people pleaser” or making others happy to the detriment of our health and happiness.
- This way of being if not addressed, can leave us depleted not only mentally and emotionally but also physically.
Other Survivor Strategies
- Being “perfect” and a hyper-achiever is a way of getting positive attention.
- The flip side is acting out and receiving negative attention – at least we are being seen.
- Another strategy is being there for others and not having your own needs.
- Many survivors are hyper-dutiful and hyper-aware of what is going on around them.
None of these ways allow a child to just “be.”
- How can a child explore who they inherently are when they are operating for others?
Again, the good news is that you can allow your inner child to begin to explore and claim who she/he is. And you can allow the claimed beautiful self to be the one that shows up in your relationships.
The Lost Playful Child Part
- As a child, I didn’t have time to play. That part of me was never explored.
- When it came time to raise my daughter, I realized the gap and deficit that existed.
- I took her to the playground but felt strange if I tried to play with her in a joyful, carefree way.
- It has taken years to claim the part of me that was suppressed: The Fun Seeker.
- Increasingly, Fun Seeker is who I am, but I must intentionally surround myself with people who value and nurture it.
The Suppressed Advocate Part
- Another example of a part of me I had to claim was my voice.
- As I have done internal healing work, I have found my voice that was silenced so many years ago.
- Now, I claim my Survivor Advocate part, not just advocating for myself but for others. Survivors to Thrivers was formed to encourage others to move toward thriving by claiming the next chapter of their story, claiming all their “parts.”
Your Turn To Claim Your Beautiful Parts
On August 15th, we will explore how you can start to reflect upon your various parts and what you want to claim.
As you begin to think of the value and importance of claiming your whole self, I would like to share a few quotes:
- “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go do that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.” – Harold Whitman
- “Be who you were created to be, and you will set the world on fire.” – St. Catherine of Sienna
- “Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” – Golda Meir
- “There is an amazing power getting to know your inner self and learning how to use it and not fight with the world. If you know what makes you happy, your personality, interests, and capabilities, just use them, and everything else flows beautifully.” – Juhi Chawla
- “I wake up and play a different person every day. Playing all these different characters and trying to figure out who your true authentic self is at the core of that as you’re playing all these different roles, and man, that self-awareness starts to come into effect. And you start to see who you really are.” – Eliza Dushku
- “We are not one-dimensional, and our multiple dimensions are not static. Just as our bodies are made of many parts that form a dynamic, interwoven system that works together, so it is with our psyches. We are more awake, alive, and complex than we know.” ― Ralph De La Rosa
Which of these quotes is your favorite?
Tell me in the comments. I read every single one, and I’d love to know!
Here’s to Thriving and Claiming Your Whole Self! Tambry
P.S. Never forget how valuable you are, how far you’ve come, and how much potential you have.
Tambry’s Story…
I was a woman wrapped in the image of having it all together. I had a successful career, a beautiful daughter, and a seemingly happy marriage. Then a sudden panic attack became my wake-up call that my life was not “perfect.”
Years of peeling back the painful layers revealed what I had suppressed for decades… I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse. More years were spent understanding and accepting the impact this abuse had on my life choices and my beliefs about myself.
This awakening was not the end of my journey. I needed to find my voice, decisively name my truth, and create a vision of how I could help others.
My calling is to inspire people to move beyond the initial awareness and therapy to a new level of wholeness. This comes with claiming their Going-Forward Story and reveling in their unique gifts, abilities, and power to live a wholehearted, meaningful life.
Talk To Tambry
I am glad you have taken the time to engage with this blog. Sometimes it is helpful to process new insights that emerge. If you would appreciate brief time with a someone who understands, our Talk to Tambry offering is for you. For 30 minutes, you can receive support from Tambry who is a certified life coach, spiritual director and a survivor who has been on the journey as well. This is offered at a reduced rate of $50.
