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In this Thriver Blog, Danielle Ratliff continues to share her path to healing with ideas around how you can quiet your inner critic. We would love to hear which ones speak to you. Here's to Thriving!

Everyone has an inner critic. You’re probably familiar with this voice – it’s the one that doles out doubts, fears, and limiting beliefs. It’s a normal part of being human. However, this voice can grow exponentially after a traumatic experience. It tells us we are broken and permanently scarred, that it was our fault and we deserved it. It says we aren’t worthy of joy, love, and fulfillment. We may not speak these thoughts out loud, but they play on repeat in the background.

Too often, survivors of rape and sexual assault blame themselves. We question choices (and memories) while fearfully replaying traumatic moments in silence, believing no one else can understand the depth of our shame and despair. But we aren’t meant to shove the painful memories down indefinitely or to sit in silence. Openly sharing our experiences is healing, whether it’s confiding in a trusted friend or writing a blog post. Yes, it’s messy, emotional work. But we are more courageous, resilient, and stronger than we ever imagined.

Rev. Leslie Takahashi writes the following:

“We gather as many drops, each winding our own path down life’s surfaces and ruts.

But here, we pool together as a single body, flowing together for a time.

Together we are a stream, at times even a river, for with our shared force we can travel toward oceans of meaning and seas of connection.”

“Oceans of meaning and seas of connection.”

This is what Survivors to Thrivers seeks to be for you. We can feel alone, like a drop of water, winding our way through life. And yet, there is a collective stream of spirits who can combine and travel together.

Below is a beautiful story of a woman who sat as a single drop of water until her individual stream was changed forever. After reading this passage, there are questions to help you find oceans of meaning for yourself. We hope you will share what you discover and contribute to our sea of connection.

“There is no power for change greater than a community discovering what it cares about.” Margaret J Wheatley

What do you care about deeply? Do you have a community that supports and joins you in that desire? At Survivors to Thrivers’, our Vision is a world where survivors of abuse and trauma are no longer trapped by fear from limiting beliefs and unhealthy patterns and can claim a whole-hearted, life-giving Going-Forward Story. We care deeply for every survivor and we wish to bring freedom and light to individuals AND shine light into the world by speaking into the shame surrounding this topic.

For Sexual Abuse Awareness Month (in April), we started two things to build a virtual community of support.

“Awakening the Light” means socially bringing light to a subject that many would want to leave in the darkness and it means bringing light into our individual lives, spirits and hearts. This blog explores ways to Awaken Your Light now matter what stage you are in: victim - survivor - thriver.

If you are a victim of sexual abuse or trauma, we offer a guide to find a therapist who is right for you.

If you have done the initial healing work and find yourself in “survivor mode”, we offer a creative activity to help you visualize thriving.

If you are a thriver, we have suggestions on how to stay strong on this journey.

For me “Awakening the Light” means a few things. It means socially bringing light to a subject that many want to leave in the darkness. It means bringing light into our individual lives, spirits and hearts.

We must shine light into the darkness! We must talk about trauma and abuse. That takes away its power! Let’s raise awareness around the significant issue of sexual abuse and how many people are hurting from it! Let’s no longer silence or shame the victims!

We continue with our Guest Thriver, Megan, who will take us through a helpful process in her healing. Thank you again, Megan, for your encouragement and wisdom!

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"When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write a brave new ending." Brene Brown

My last post was about feeling called to share my story and the freedom I found in doing so. I want to encourage you to take some healing steps, even partially, to begin to claim yours. The following process has worked for me:

1. Inviting God into the Process

2. Owning and Sharing Your Story

3. Forgiveness

4. Kindness

Inviting God into the Process:

For me, inviting God (however you define the Divine Presence) into the process of change is crucial. I believe so strongly in God's healing grace. Inviting God may be as simple as praying for awareness. Ask God to bring to mind whatever story is not serving you well. Whatever the invitation, it does not have to be a grand gesture. God meets us where we are in our lives.

At Survivors to Thrivers, we wish to create a supportive community that brings light and awareness to the shame and silence surrounding abuse and encourages survivors to find strength and freedom by finding their voice and claiming a story of transformation and growth leading to empowered lives. For this reason, we are excited to have a Thrivers Speak Blog where others who have journeyed from surviving to thriving can share their stories of hope and encouragement. Our first brave Thriver to share in this way is Megan Young, a beautiful soul, a wife, a mother of three, and a writer. Through her writing, she intends to offer hope, inspiration, and resources to live your best imperfect life! Thank you, Megan, for sharing your story and your heart!

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I believe we are called to be open and vulnerable and share our most protected stories. We are called into community with others to break open the dark, hidden parts of our lives and make connections.

I am a survivor of sexual abuse. I experienced sexual abuse in my childhood and as a teenager. You might gasp and wonder why I would share this for anyone to read?

Earlier this month, I shared the story of the baby elephant finding itself stuck thinking it was too weak or small to leave captivity. Did that story resonate with you in any way? How about my story of personally feeling unworthy and then getting stuck in unhealthy patterns of accepting bad behavior that reinforced my “less-than” mindset?

I want you to begin to think about what unhealthy mindsets might exist for you. These can be deeply ingrained and hard to see because you have been living in them for some time and they are just “the way it is.”

In December we explored the concept of giving yourself the gift of personal growth. Were you able to start doing that? Did you think about those things that you want to release and those things that you wanted to claim? Taking this initial step is a movement in valuing yourself. You are worthy of this investment!

As we enter the time of “New Year Resolutions”, I would encourage you to continue claiming those things that are good and healthy for you. We have explored limiting beliefs before and this month we are framing it as setting new thriving mindsets.