Accepting the Unexpected
How do we navigate unexpected events and disappointments in our lives?
It is natural to have expectations.
- We aspire to a life filled with health, joy, and success.
- Lofty goals can spur our self-growth and challenge us to be our best selves.
And yet, what happens to us when life falls short of these big dreams?
- When what was meant to challenge us causes greater difficulty and disappointment.
- This can be especially true of survivors of trauma like sexual abuse or domestic violence, who yearn to break free of limiting beliefs and lingering pains.
To navigate, we must accept the unexpected in our lives.
We must tackle the ramifications of unexpected situations every day.
- From illness, job loss, relationship hurdles, accidents, delays, or cancellations, to even death, every day we must find ways to make the best out of the situations before us.
- When we are unable to navigate this process successfully, anxiety builds, and our feeling of self-worth can plummet.
If you are physically struggling, you are not alone.
- Survivors of abuse often live with hidden chronic disorders or conditions. This can conflict with expectations of a “traditional” life.
- These conditions could look like: Autoimmune Diseases, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Insomnia or Sleep Disorders, Frequent Headaches/Migraines, Anxiety/Depression, and/or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
- Please know, as you confront your symptoms, that this does not define you, nor does it decrease your self-worth or societal value.
The path to acceptance begins with acknowledgment.
- Take inventory of your feelings, emotions, and thoughts.
- Pay special attention to any judgment that arises.
- Validate these sensations, or otherwise you risk them pulling you under like a riptide.
- When you allow these sensations to be heard, you can then learn from them.
Another approach is to adjust expectations that are not realistic.
- We can shift our perspective, lessen anxiety, and be more receptive to the hidden blessings.
- In every situation, there are unique challenges and opportunities.
- It is up to us to channel our energy into exploring the opportunities while still honoring the challenges that exist.
- Allow these opportunities to help create action steps for overcoming the challenge to create a better sense of empowerment.
Having expectations is natural.
- It is when you get too fixated on them, they can morph into something unrealistic and detrimental to your well-being.
- As people with a history of trauma and abuse, we may be predisposed to seek control in the form of expectations.
- Yet, this fallacy of lofty expectations typically leads to bigger crashes when they can’t be attained.
When you go beyond just accepting, but truly welcoming the unforeseen, you have the ability for reinvention!
- Consider leaning into the creation of what can be for your life and your perspective.
- Maybe it is the ability to pause everything in life to better listen and attend to the needs of your body.
- Or it could be the opportunity to experience grace and blessings surrounding the situation.
We at Survivors to Thrivers encourage you to honor, accept, and even welcome the detours that will occur throughout your life.
- If met with an open and nonjudgmental mindset, these detours can turn into vistas and help you gain a new perspective on your life or ways to improve your community.
- We welcome you to share your story of how you have embraced the unexpected moments in your life, either by emailing us, leaving a blog or social media comment.
Thank you for being a part of this loving and uplifting community.
Talk To Tambry
I am glad you have taken the time to engage with this blog. Sometimes it is helpful to process new insights that emerge. If you would appreciate brief time with a someone who understands, our Talk to Tambry offering is for you. For 30 minutes, you can receive support from Tambry who is a certified life coach, spiritual director and a survivor who has been on the journey as well. This is offered at a reduced rate of $50.
