Going Forward: Survivors to Thrivers Movement
will expand the #metoo movement by:
Guiding survivors to find strength and freedom through naming and reclaiming
their unique gifts and releasing limiting beliefs
Enabling the rewriting of old narratives into “Going-Forward Stories”; ones of wholeness and purpose
Bringing awareness and light into the shame, silence and darkness of sexual abuse
We have astonishing capacity but often face circumstances that create a barrier to our ability to
manifest our full potential
We all have a right to live beyond merely existing
We can reclaim our story; free from pain, ill health, guilt or shame
As a community we can create a supportive, validating and empowering place to counter the culture of sexual abuse that silences victims
Personality is one of the biggest paradoxes in humanity. Typically, it gets explained in absolute terms. Someone is a happy person, another is angry, she is larger than life, while he is nervous. It often leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you constantly hear people say or tell yourself that you are stupid or selfish, the label gains power and soon it is the primary lens you view yourself. At times you might feel frustrated by people’s over generalizations of you and correct them. Hearing your partner ask “Why are you angry all of the time?” could lead you to rebut “I’m not angry all of the time, but I am frustrated by not feeling like I’m living up to expectations.” If we could look at personality as more nuanced then we could have discussions that could lead to collective healing and understanding.
Thankfully, in the early 1990s a psychological school of thought arose called Internal Family Systems. This approach looks at one’s personality like a mosaic. Much like how a mosaic is a picture created by small pieces of glass, tile, stone or even pictures to create one large artwork., so too is the masterpiece that is our personality. We are quick to see the large image, but with patience one can see the beauty and the purpose with the placement of each smaller item.
Internal Family Systems states each person is comprised of number of distinct subpersonalities.When triggered each subpersonality affects how we process and interact with the world around us.A great example is the Pixar movie Inside Out, written as a love letter by a parent trying to understand the inner world of their tween daughter.The movie’s main character Riley has her personality and experience of the world driven by the five subpersonalities: Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust.There were even a few moments in the movie when we saw the inner world of the mother and father, and how those subpersonalities impacted their relationship!
“I feel like I have hit a plateau in my life and I can’t reach that next level of living.”
This is a common statement for many survivors of sexual abuse and other traumatic experiences. Does this resonate with you? If so, you might be in need of creating that bridge from Survivor to Thriver. Survivor-Mindset entails a focus on understanding your experience, discovering what matters to you and healing. Thriver-Mindset is the courage to accept the trauma and finding a place where one can coexist with both the darkness and enlightenment you gained from the experience.
A thriver realizes they aren’t the same person they were before the trauma. Instead they have become a stronger and more inspirational individual who can steadfastly traverse a shifting environment guided by peace and light. It can feel easier said than done. Start small and speak kindly to yourself.